What language does your body speak? Your arms, legs, feet, eyebrows – what do they say about you? Body language is the unspoken words, the vibes you give off when engaging in conversation or just simply standing in room. Body language is one of my favorite topics and areas of study/research in the world of offline. Having A LOT of college classes that focused on behavior and consumer marketing and advertising behavior, and working in various industries when taking those classes, I have been able to observe people in many different situations. Some very enlightening and friendly and some not so pleasant.
First impressions are inspiring, entertaining, concerning and sometimes just down right ugly. Our bodies speak louder than our voices as no matter what comes out of our mouth, our body tells the story.
10 Languages Your Body Speaks
1. Proximity. Someone close probably means they are interested in the conversation and trust and like you enough to feel comfortable enough to decrease the space between you.
2. Head. Tilted without a smile is sympathy, tilted with smile is flirting. Sideways leaning in is “I do not hear you” or they are going to plant a kiss.
3. Hair. Playing with the hair is either flirting, trying to get out of the conversation, nervousness or it is just poking an eye and needs to move. Difficult to determine in a brief conversation.
4. Eyes. Eye contact can be unnerving when it feels as if they are almost staring. It makes you slowly look away hoping that they do. Frequently looking way whether it be down or across the room is an indicator of not listening or if they are doing the talking either lying or have little interest in what they are saying.
5. Mouth. Big smiles – very engaged. Smirk, many times comes with the head shake as either they are not interested enough to agree or disagree or even want to say something. Then there are the lip biters – uncomfortable, nervous, unsure, comfort. I equate this to a small child who is a thumb sucker. Not in your comfort zone, you find a comfort zone – thumb or lip!
6. Arms. Folded is comfort but also closed off. Reserved or uncomfortable with some aspect of their body. This can be misinterpreted in a short conversation you can think someone is being reserved and uninterested when they may just have a stain on their shirt that they are trying to hide.
7. Hands. Oh the hands. They are probably the easiest but hardest to consider. They point, they dig in a purse or bag. they hold, they hide in pockets, they touch, they scratch, they support rings, nails and even type – wow, hands do a lot … all things that send confusing messages.
8. Legs. If sitting, crossing of the legs is either closed off or being comfortable. Sitting straight up with legs crossed is reserved, hiding something and if arms are crossed at same time probably lying. Sitting back with legs crossed is comfort, trust and honesty.
9. Feet. As I have previously said One Foot In. The one foot is planted but the other is not as it is leaning somewhere, lifted at times or tapping. The actual gesture is not what to look at per se, but the speed. Fast movement is excited, nervous, intimidated, frightened. In slow movement they are uncomfortable, distracted or completely uninterested.
10. Mimicking. If you do something and then thoughout the conversation the person you are speaking with makes that same gesture they are very engaged and have a high level of trust. They want you to like them by hoping that the gesture or phrase you said is cool.
What happens when people do many of these within a conversation? Are they that uninterested, distracted, nervous, uncomfortable or very engaged they are loving the conversation to the point of moving their feet, opening their eyes big and smiling the size of the sun.
How do you know but also how do you avoid some negative body language? When at a seminar or even a lunch watch what you are doing with a close eye on what others are doing. Peruse the room and some disagree, read something out loud or listen to a webinar in front of a mirror or set up a video camera. You will see yourself in such a different light.
What have you observed? What do you do or no do? Me, I fold arms, bite lip and as an Italian, appreciate the hands in conversation.
photo credit: That Guy Who’s Going Places
