New to social media? We all were, are and continue to be with the new platforms that emerge. As you enter a space online it is new and learning how to first use the tool and then interact is not easy. What will I say? What happens when people do not respond? What did I do wrong? These are questions people ask when they are new, unsure and unfamiliar with the space. Learning the tools and how people interact is just the beginning of familiarizing yourself with the platforms. Familiarity is not one sided as you are learning the tools, watching and listening to the community to see where you fit and can jump in but yet the community is trying to familiarize themselves with you and see what you have to offer and where you fit in.
Seeking Acceptance
When we start to reach out and are well received, the more confident we become with interacting and the more we will do which leads to more quality connections. The fundamentals are the same on and offline but as we enter a new space we tend to forget as we look for immediate acceptance. If we frequent a coffee shop or a convenience store we know where to go for what we are looking for. What happens if they close or we move and have to go to a new place? At first we are a bit unsure and disoriented as the location of what we are looking for is different as are the people. But yet, we adapt as we continue to go back to fulfill a need and, as we return, we become more comfortable with the surroundings, the people there learn about us by what we buy and how they can interact with us outside of ”that will be X price.” When we enter a space and watch and listen, we become aware of many people that we like and want to get to know better. It would be great if all you had to do was to follow them, fan them or email them and they would immediately open the door to embrace you but that is just not going to happen. There are levels of acceptance online as there are offline.
5 Levels of Social Media Acceptance
1. The Nod. Retweet/Share. Retweeting and sharing an article that you like on a bookmarking site or on networking site is that nod from afar. The “I liked this and wanted you and everyone else to know that I liked it.” A simple nod that may go unnoticed but not unrecognized.
2. The Wave. Repeated Retweets/Shares and Comments to the articles. When we find a new blogger that we like and we are sharing their content many times and also commenting, we are giving them a wave. A hello, I’m here, like your articles and hope you see me.
3. The Eye-Contact. Commenting more, sharing more and more. A thanks for the retweet or sharing. They see you, take a peek over what you are doing and put you on their radar.
4. The Handshake. They have seen you around enough and get a feel for who you are and where you fit into their community. There is acknowledgment of the blogger in a comment back to your comment, a bit more of a personal tweet thanking you via DM (shows that they are following you too). This is the beginning of being welcomed into the community as now the other community members see you and follow steps 1-3 but to you.
5. The Introduction. This is where you get that public acknowledgment of retweets, responses back to tweets you put out there and comments on your blog from them. This is not only a formal introduction to them but to their entire community. People following them or commenting on the blog know that they have opened the door to let you in.
6. The Embrace. This is where you do be come friendly and converse online regularly. We see in our followers streams where they start joke around more with someone and see a genuine mutual acceptance and trust.
New is new but new is forgiven if you are apologetic. We get so wrapped up in being new and wanting to be accepted that we forget that the person we are reaching out to has NO idea who we are and needs to get comfortable before they can accept and embrace. It takes time to get to know people and really determine if you do want to be friendly with them. Some advances are rejected and that is going to happen but should not lead to discouragement. Not everyone is going to like one another and not everyone is ready to expand their close friend circle on your timeline. Make them notice you with providing exceptional content in your blog, create the buzz around you as the greatest compliment you can receive is “I see you every where.”
How have you been accepted and built relationships? Are you seen everywhere?
photo credit: Topgold
